A Little Self-Education
by Tirnel
Summary: William is ready to take the next step in his relationship with Grell, but there's just one problem... Smut and part Crack.
1. Chapter 1

**A Little Self-Education**

 _ **Yes I have been working on both the next snippet and the next chapter to Forever Together. But then this conversation happened with my beta when discussing my snippet ideas. How did Will know what to do at the end of the Box, if he was a virgin (at least male on male wise)? Well the answer will be in a snippet, but one of the options was jokingly this. It's not connected with the other stories. My beta outlined it and I wrote it. :) Enjoy! I also want to thank everyone who has favorite and commented on my stories.**_

 _ **Smut and part crack.**_

He had done it. He had asked Grell out on a date and they had gone on that date. They had gone on several dates. He knew that Grell was ready to take it to the next level. More than ready. He had undoubtedly been ready before William had even asked him out and he had been more than patient with him. He himself was ready to take it to the next level. But there was just one problem…

Grell sat close to him on the red couch in Grell's house. _Very_ close with his hand on William's thigh. Grell's lips were on his. This was fine. They had had make out sessions before. Then the hand on his thigh began caressing him. It made him slightly uncomfortable, but he could deal with it. Grell moaned into his mouth as their tongues slid across one another. Grell's hand moved up along William's inner thigh until it rested over his crotch and began rubbing him through the fabric of his trousers. William flinched and scooted back, removing Grell's hand from his intimate area. It pained him to see the look in Grell's eyes when he did so. He was sorry, but he couldn't. Not now.

"It is getting late and we have to work tomorrow," he said, quickly getting up from the couch. "I shall see you there in the morning. Good night." He placed a kiss on Grell's cheek, grabbed his suit jacket and showed himself to the door, feeling relieved that he had gotten out of that situation and guilty that he had. But Grell couldn't find out about his secret. Grell would be disappointed in him and possibly laugh at his incompetence if he knew. He couldn't help that he was inexperienced in such matters.

He couldn't keep stringing Grell along like this forever, but how was William to get the experience or at least the appearance of such without having someone show him? First, he'd never do that to Grell, even if his life depended on it and Grell would never find out. Second, it would have to be a stranger because asking a coworker or subordinate was out of the question. So was talking about something so personal with a stranger.

He continued to try and answer his problem, as he walked back to his flat, staring at the sidewalk in concentration. Someone bumped into him. "Hey! Watched where you're going!" they shouted at him. He apologized and was about to continue on his way when he noticed a store across the way. A video rental store.

Perhaps he should rent a movie to get his mind off of his problem. It was getting late and he would think better in the morning when his mind was fresh.

He crossed the street and entered the store, walking slowly through the aisles as he looked for something that might interest him. He eventually wound up near the back of the store. There was a doorway that was veiled by a beaded curtain. Signs were posted around the entrance saying: "Adults Only" "Must be over 18 to enter." It was something he had not considered. Even if it was considered fantasy in some respects, it would be weird watching other people do it, but…No one would know, except the store clerk who didn't know William from the next guy and wouldn't care. He decided to give it a try and pushed his way past the beaded curtain.

Not wanting to linger any longer than necessary in making a decision, any would do, right? He grabbed the first one he saw that was between two guys. At least that's what it said on the box cover. The two people on the front were holding each other passionately. One had long hair (red hair, he noticed) and wore a medieval style dress and could easily pass as a woman. He even looked a little bit like Grell, though Grell was much prettier in his opinion. Curious, he glanced at the title as he made to exit the tiny room. "A Midsummer's Night's Romp." It sounded very corny, but it would do.

Someone entered the shop just as William was leaving the small room. He panicked when he saw them as the clerk greeted the newcomer. "Yo, Slingby! Long time no see!"

"Na my fault. Boss' been workin' our asses off."

"Sounds rough," laughed the clerk.

"Yeah, it was. I'm just gonna get one of my regulars tonight."

"Whatever you want. You know where they're at."

While they were conversing, William had dropped to his knees and crawled behind a row of movies to hide until Slingby was out of sight. He watched between the shelves as Slingby went into the backroom and then shot from his hiding spot to the checkout. His heart stopped when he heard Slingby holler from the back, not daring to turn to see if he had come out. "Hey, Zed, where's that medieval Shakespeare one? Ya know with the guy that looks like Red." William took his change and bolted for the door.

"By 'Red' ya mean Mister, ahem, _Miss_ Sutcliff?"

"That's the one."

"Sorry, mate, some bloke just got it. He looked real nervous too, must be a first-timer."

William didn't hear anymore as he hurried out the door and down the street, not stopping until he was safe in his flat. He breathed a sigh of relief as he set the video and went to change into something more comfortable. He put on a pair of old pajamas that were well worn. He popped some corn, because that's what people do when they watch movies, right? He had a player, of course, but had rarely used it and only then it was instructional videos required by the association.

After inserting the video into the device and turning on the telly, he sat down and got comfortable on his couch. Right off he could see that this video had nothing in common with the Shakespearean play and the actors' attempts at old English were atrocious, but all that mattered was the sex. He resisted fast forwarding to it though. The red head came on screen. He was supposed to be some sort of princess. William grimaced as he said his lines. Not only was Grell prettier, but a far better actor.

The two lovers had met secretly and were snogging each other now. William's heart beat faster as it made him think of Grell's lips on his and he felt himself start to harden as the prince, or whatever he was, pushed the "princess" down onto the throne in the palace throne room and prepared him.

So that's how that was done. He rewound it and watched it a few more times to make sure he understood.

The couple switched places and the "princess" straddled the prince's lap. He lowered himself down onto the prince's erection. It seemed so unsanitary, but William understood it was the only way it would work between two men. He grew even harder as he watched the red head shift his weight on the other man. Erotic moans from the television set filled his living room as the prince slowly removed the red head's gown as the red head rode him, the camera angles and cuts making it as erotic as possible.

William tried to pay attention to what the prince was doing, but it was hard when the red head kept making him think more and more of Grell and how Grell would feel on him making those same movements. He couldn't take it anymore and reached into his pajama bottoms and took his member into his hand and began stroking it. The back of his head pressed into the couch and he moaned at the pleasant sensations it gave him.

 _Knock, knock._ Someone was at the door. His eyes flew open and he took his hand out of his pants and paused the video. He waited. Maybe they would go away. They knocked again. He got up from the couch and headed for the door when he remember his little problem. 'Damn it'. He snatched his raincoat from the coat rack by the door and pulled it on to cover up his arousal before opening the door.

It was Ronald Know. "Heeeey! Uuhh…what?" He slurred at William, at first happily and then confused with a bottle in hand. "This ain't her flat."

"Mr. Knox, are you intoxicated?"

Ronald shook his head, "I've only had this much to drink." He held his fingers up as to indicate he had only had a little but it was quite clear to William that he was in fact, quite inebriated.

"Mr. Knox, I am quite busy, so unless you have a pressing concern, please be on your way."

"What's with the raincoat? Is it raining in there or something?" Knox entered the flat, without permission. "Nope. All seems dry." He looked at the television and pointed at it with the bottle. "Oh, hey! I didn't know ya watched porn. I seen that one several times. Don't ya think that guy looks like the old man? This one's so cheesey. Next time I can recommend ya something better."

"Mr. Knox," William glared at him, his ears burning. "Please leave this instant." Ronald ate some popcorn before sitting down on the floor in front of the couch. "If you do not leave this moment, Mr. Knox, I shall give you overtime for a month."

"Aw, man, that's cruel, Boss." Ronald took a drink from the bottle, falling backwards as he did so as he passed out where he was.

' _Now what?'_ thought William. It would be very awkward to continue with Ronald there. While he was passed out, he could wake up at any time. As he contemplated on what to do, the sound of high heels fast approaching filled his ears and a red ball of fury came into his flat.

"William T. Spears. I have decided that I am not going to take 'no' for answer any longer. We are going to have sex tonight and that's final." Determination and fire was in his eyes as he looked up at William, his hands on his hips. "Why are you wearing a raincoat?" William's cheeks flushed. He opened his mouth to speak when he saw Grell look at the television, but the words caught in his throat. "Oh please don't tell me you're watching that god-awful thing. It's so unrealistic." Grell placed a kiss on William's cheek. "You're so cute, trying to cover up the fact that you're a virgin by watching porn when I've known for a long time." He shut the front door and took his hand, "Come on," he dragged him off towards the bedroom, "I'll show you how it's done. Leave the raincoat on. It'll make it more interesting."

End


	2. Chapter 2

Roux Dame

Part II of A Little Self Education

Snow drifted lazily down onto the street outside William's hotel window as he lazily flipped through the channels trying to find something to watch that would take his mind off his boyfriend…girlfriend? William was on special assignment in France and he missed him. You never know how much you need someone until you are parted from them.

Frustrated, he turned the television off and tossed the remote control aside, rolling over and wrapping his arms around a pillow, breathing in the scent of Grell's perfume. He'd found a bottle of it stashed in his things, no doubt to remind William that he was Grell's and Grell's alone while in the most romantic country in the world. As if William would ever consider anyone else. Having found the bottle, he had sprayed it onto the pillow and hugged it every night as he slept, imagining it was his lover he was holding and not just a pillow.

Tonight, he was unable to clear his mind. Sleep evaded him. Deciding a walk would be the best thing; he dressed and soon found himself walking aimlessly down the street. Snow crunched under his polished black oxford shoes, letting his feet do the walking, he eventually found himself passing by an x-rated movie theater. A look of disgust crossed his features. Why would anyone want to watch other people having sex? Not to mention the corny titles and pathetic plots, if one could call them plots. Though William had only watched one such film, two of his 'friends' had decided to bestow a list of ones they considered to be superior than others, if he should ever be interested in viewing such again.

Curious, he looked up at the marquee to see what was playing; surprised that he recognized the title. It was on the top of the lists provided by Knox and Slingby, promptly scratched out by Grell when he read it. The entire list was useless he said, since William could get all the sex he wanted from Grell. This film starred the same redhead from the other pornography film he had seen, Knox and Slingby informed him, but this one was infinitely better.

Roux Dame, as he went by, had apparently been a famous porn star at one time. The one William had seen was at the start of his career. For some reason, his movies were hard to find in England. Knox had some theory that it had something to do with them mostly being French, and since the French and English had a history of not getting along…

Well, he didn't have anything better to do. It defeated the purpose of trying to clear his mind of Grell, considering his experience with M. Dame's other film. Having previously seen one of M. Dame's films, his curiosity was peaked, so he purchased a ticket for the next showing.

Right from the start, William could see that it was much higher quality than the other film. The plot was even rather decent and William found himself somewhat enjoying it, though it was extremely hard to keep from becoming, ahem, hard. He had almost forgotten how much M. Dame looked like Grell. So much so, that the two could have been twins. Or at the least, brothers. However, William knew Grell to be an only child. So it was merely coincidence.

He took a sip of the cola and nearly spit it out when M. Dame moved in a manner during one sex scene that was unique to Grell. Or so Grell had said. William spent the remainder of the film scrutinizing every move, look, and word by M. Dame. By the end, he was convinced that Roux Dame and Grell Sutcliff was the same person.

Two weeks later, Grell pranced into William's office. "You wanted to see me, darling? Please say this is a _private_ meeting for just the two of us, hm?"

"Actually," William answered, placing a paper and a pen on the far side of his desk. "I was wondering if I could have the autograph of M. Roux Dame."

Grell immediately started playing with a lock of his hair. " _Who_ , darling?"

"Roux Dame. I have seen his work and I must say I'm impressed."

"And you think I know this Dame person? Really, Will," Grell said in an offended tone. "And didn't I tell you? You don't need to be watching this stuff? Not when you have me?" He stood with his hands on his hips.

"I didn't have you in France, may I remind you. Or did I? M. Dame."

Grell looked shocked, placing a hand on his chest. "Are you insinuating that I'm this porn star?"

"I'm not insinuating anything."

"I-I….ooooh!" Grell's face turned as red as his hair and he stamped his foot in anger, his hands forming fists at his sides. "How dare you suggest such a thing, William?! As if I would stoop to that level! Selling my body for a chance to act and a bit of coin? I never want to see you again, William T. Spears!" He turned heel, promptly left the room in a flurry of red, and slammed the door behind him.

Well, he hadn't meant for _that_ to happen. But what had he hoped to gain? Satisfaction in proving himself right? What did it matter whether or not Grell had been a successful porn star at one time? William was almost a hundred percent sure. How many other five foot seven male red heads could there be that could perform like that? True, M. Dame's hair was a more natural red and not the flamboyant, in your face red that was Grell. Admittedly, there were a few things different between them, but they could all be accounted for through makeup and special effects. Grell, after all, was a master of illusion.

However, now that he thought about what Grell said to him…he _had_ been missing Grell al it when he had seen that film. William supposed he _could_ have been reflecting his wants and desires onto M. Dame's acting. Grell also thought a lot about his own acting abilities.

Whatever the case, William should have kept his opinion of the identity of Roux Dame to himself. He should apologize to Grell, beg him to reconsider. Should he give him some time to cool off? How much time was sufficient?

As he pondered this, the door to his office opened and Grell came back in, rushing up to William. William tried to prepare for what may be coming only for Grell to straddle his lap and wrap his arms around William's neck. Lacing his fingers firmly behind William's neck, he kissed him.

"I'm so sorry, darling. I didn't mean what I said about never wanting to see you again. You just infuriated me so…I lost my head for a moment. After all, suggesting that a lady of my standing would ever participate in that sort of thing." He brought one hand between them and fiddled with William's necktie. "This isn't the first time someone has accused me of being this Dame fellow…I used to get it quite frequently, to be honest. Thankfully they stopped after Dame retired or whatever he did."

"I should be the one apologizing," said William. "I should never have brought it up. I certainly hadn't meant for you to break up with me over it, even if it was for only a moment."

"Nhn~" Grell kissed and nipped at William's ear. "How about I show you something new?" he whispered seductively. "M. Dame would _die_ to know this one."

William moaned from the stimulation. "Lock the door," he whispered back, no longer caring whether Grell and Dame were the same. And who needed an autograph when he could have the star himself?

(x)

Coincidentally, the title of this part may also become the title of an au fic in the works.

So what do you think? Is 'Grell' M. Dame's real name?


	3. Chapter 3

A Little Self Education

Chapter III

PURE CRACK

Interrogation

As suggested by MissWingedLioness, though varied slightly from the initial plan.

"Come on, babe, spill the beans," Ronald sat on the edge of the metal table in the small room, chewing on the end of a toothpick. "Or are we going to have to get rough?"

"I'm sorry?" Grell blinked up at him, having been unexpectedly dragged to the room, that sort that was used for interrogating people, and plunked down roughly into a chair.

"Now, now, hold up there, Greenie," Undertaker, who sat across from Grell, said to Ronald. "The best way to get information from such a lovely is to be nice to her." He turned to Grell, "Come on, dearie. Won't you tell us what we want to know?"

"What's with this 'good cop, bad cop' routine? And what exactly is going on here? I haven't the faintest idea what you are talking about."

Ronald produced a remote control and pressed the 'on' button, aiming at a small television in the corner of the room. The television flicked on and Ronald then pushed 'play'. A pornographic movie appeared on the screen. Erotic moans and other sexual sounds filled the room. Most came from a redhead that featured in the film. Ronald paused the video on a shot of the redhead's face. "You are denying that this is you?"

"As if!" Grell's nose stuck up in the air.

"It looks a lot like you."

"I'm not the only redhead in the world, you know."

"But you are certainly the loveliest," Undertaker complimented. Grell blushed slightly.

"F-flattery will get you nowhere." Undertaker looked at her knowingly in return.

"I brought you some coffee," Alan said upon entering the even smaller room where William stood watching the reapers on the other side through a window that the other side could not see through.

"Thank you, Humphries," William answered, taking the foam cup and taking a sip of the contents.

"Any progress?" Alan asked.

"None. However, we have only just begun. We _will_ get to the bottom of this."

"Yes, sir. Will you be needing anything else?"

"Not at the moment, thank you."

(x)

A redheaded young man looked over the piles of bills that surrounded him. He couldn't pay all of these. Not with his income. Perhaps he shouldn't have been too frivolous on his last shopping spree. He couldn't take any of the items back. Most of them were custom fitted and how could you get a return on a salon visit? It simply cannot be done. He would simply have to find a way to make ends meet. Fortunately, he had been planing to go on a diet. This would be an opportune time to do it.

Perhaps taking a walk would enable him to think of some ways to increase his income, short of asking for a raise he wouldn't receive. There had to be some way to make more money. Perhaps then he could afford to move out of these dull regulation rooms and into something more cozy. Letting out a frustrated sigh, he the dozens of bills in a pile and went for a walk. There simply had to be _some_ way to make more money.

AUDITION TODAY!

The large red words captured his attention. The redhead had always wanted to take on acting. Without giving it further thought, he went inside. The good news was, he was hired practically on the spot solely for his good looks and amazingly offered him a lead role. The bad news was it turned out he had auditioned for a pornographic film company.

For one who never watched these sorts of films, this was a real eye-opener. The over, or in some cases, under acting. The exaggerated, overboard scenarios. Terrible scripts. Oh, it was enough to make him vomit. He didn't know what would be worst, his friends and coworkers recognizing him in the films or being seen acting in something so awful. So he altered his hair when in front of the camera. He used brands of makeup he didn't use and applied them in a different manner than normal. He selected a false name to appear on the billing, and since his acting was if no consequence, he did his worse in those regards, helped by lousy scripts.

He should have stopped after the first film, but the money that came in was too good to pass up. Not to mention his pride being stroked at the news if becoming an overnight sensation. His public adored him. Especially the French, from which he had taken his stage name. His fan base grew with each film. It grew and grew until it started to become too much. The keener of eye among his friends colleagues noticed a similarity between himself and his 'altar ego'. He was getting sick of his sub-par acting and juggling both lives was beginning to wear on him. Now living a more comfortable life, in a house he owned, the redhead quietly retired from the film industry to live out the rest of his days as an 'ordinary' reaper.

(x)

"Any luck?" Eric's head popped through the door where William still watched the proceedings in the other room.

"Not yet, but he has to crack eventually."

"Aye, but Red's a right stubborn one. You may be here a long while."

"I will wait. Fortunately, I am a patient man,"

"Can I go now?" Grell asked irritably. She was losing her patience. "William and I have a date tonight."

"Not until we have the answers we seek," answered Ronald, playing with the toothpick sticking out of his mouth. "Or until we get orders otherwise."

"This is ridiculous!" Grell shouted, tossing her hands up into the air and slumping back into the chair. "I am _your_ senior, may I remind you," she sat forward, pointing her finger at Ronald. "You have to- wait...orders? You mean someone put you up to this? Who was it? Was it Will?"

"Now, now, Rose," Undertaker spoke to her in a calming voice. "Our employer wanted to remain anonymous and I _never_ disobey my orders."

Grell looked at him skeptically. "That's a bold faced lie. What are you doing here anyway? Aren't you a deserter?"

"Gehehehe~" Undertaker laughed.

Grell placed her palms down on the table. She had a date an she'll be damned if she was going to miss it. "If I say, 'yes, I am this Roux Dame', or whatever, you'll let me go, right?"

Her captors looked at one another with uncertainty. "I suppose," Ronald said slowly. They really hadn't expected Grell to give in and hadn't been told what to do if she did.

"Good," said Grell, "then fine. I'm this Roux Dame. Now let me go." She started to get up but Undertaker pushed her back down.

"Hold on now...our employer would want us to ask why," he turned a lopsided grin on her. "To make sure you aren't fibbing just to get out of here. Why and how you ended up doing porno's."

"Why else? I needed the money? It was the only job I could find? I just enjoyed showing off my womanhood to the world? Take your pick. May I go now?"

Undertaker released er with a nod. She got up and bolted at the door. There was plenty of time to get ready, however, she wanted to get home. To take her time and look absolutely gorgeous for her man. "Do think he was telling the truth?" Ronald asked the former mortician.

"It's possible. It's a nice fantasy either way," he answered dreamily, thinking dirty thoughts about Grell. A little drool dribbled down his chin.

"Perverted old geezer," Ronald muttered.

"Good work, men," William congratulated as he came in the room. " Now back to work."


End file.
